“Wish your dad a Happy Father’s Day, Happy Birthday, I love you and anything else you want to say to him. He can still hear you.” the middle aged hospice nurse compassionately suggested. Although the nurse was trying to help me say goodbye to dad, she didn’t understand that our family didn’t do emotions. Her kind gesture wasn’t helping me let dad go, rather adding a layer of shame and guilt on top of the overwhelming sadness I felt. For years I believed time, busyness, and remaining strong, by not speaking of negative emotions, would eventually heal my broken heart.

I gave my grief stricken heart twenty years to heal, but it hadn’t. I thought if I was patient and positive enough, my negative...