As you walk through grief, you may feel like there are myriad sensory landmines waiting to be triggered: seeing that picture in the hall, passing that special place you used to go together, sorting through personal items, or recognizing a sound or smell that reminds you of that person.
The Nature of Grief
And if your friend or loved one is grieving, you may worry that you'll say or do the wrong thing, and trigger another reminder of their loss, and another "bout" of grief. (If you have a chance, read our last post on What Does Grief Look Like?)
So are there obvious triggers to grief? Yes! There are 43 different life experiences that trigger grief, so attempting to avoid all sensory landmines simply isn’t possible — even if you might think doing so would help you move forward. To learn more about these different life everts, we suggest you read Grief: The 40+ events that can be triggers
Actually, avoiding the obvious triggers to grief is not helpful to the griever.
By choosing not to deal with a trigger any time you experience it, you are actually creating landmines in your future to deal with at a later time. Experiencing triggers is a healthy part of grieving because it can make you aware of unresolved grief you are carrying. Each trigger gives you an opportunity to face head-on whatever facet of grief it is eliciting. Wading through the emotion is better than stuffing it.
Understanding Grief and Its Effects
As you grieve, you may think that determining not to feel any emotions is an acceptable way of coping. What you don’t realize, though, is that those feelings will find their way to the surface, whether you’re conscious of them or not. If you isolate yourself from anything that triggers your grief, it will often surface in places and at times that will cause you even more grief. And the more you stuff those emotions, the bigger the release may be in the form of emotional implosions or explosions.
As challenging as it is, move toward the triggers that your senses encounter as you grieve. Since you can’t go over, under, or around them, choose to go directly through them. It may seem scary and painful, but it is the correct path. Choose to view them as life’s way of helping you move forward, even though that pain you’d like to avoid is part of the process. ### What have been some of your triggers?
What did they remind you of, or what did they stir in you? Share your thoughts with us in the comments section.