The First Week

If something has happened recently, you don't need a plan. You don't need to know what you're doing. You don't need to feel a certain way. You just need to get through today.

Here's what's worth knowing when you're in the first hours and days.

What you're feeling is normal

People in fresh grief often experience some or all of these — and they rarely come in order:

• Shock — a sense that this can't be real. Going through motions without feeling much.
• Exhaustion — grief is physically heavy. Sleep can feel broken or impossible.
• Appetite changes — eating too little, eating too much, or not wanting food at all.
• Difficulty concentrating — forgetting what you walked into a room for, reading the same sentence five times.
• Brief moments of calm or even humor — followed by guilt for having them.
• Surges of emotion triggered by ordinary things — a song, a smell, a photo.

None of this means anything is wrong with you. These are normal responses to something not-normal.

Things that tend to help

Simple things, mostly:

• Drink water. Grief dehydrates you.
• Eat something, even if small. Toast, soup, fruit.
• Say no to what you can't handle. You don't have to go to the thing.
• Say yes to help from people you trust. "Come sit with me" is not a big ask.
• Step outside when you can. Even five minutes.
• Go easy on screens. Scrolling can feel like coping but often makes the weight heavier.

Things not to worry about yet

• Making big decisions. Don't sell the house, don't quit the job, don't move cities this week.
• "Getting back to normal." There is no normal to get back to. There's only what's ahead.
• Being productive. Whatever you get done today is enough.
• Fixing this. There's nothing to fix. There's only going through it.

Who to talk to

Everyone reacts differently to being around grievers. Some friends will show up beautifully. Some will disappear. Both are common.

If you don't have someone to talk to right now, you can:

• Join the Support Portal community and post in "Recently Lost Someone" — even a few lines is enough
• Call or text 988 — The Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, free and confidential, 24/7 — if you're having thoughts of harming yourself
• Find a certified grief recovery specialist when you're ready (no timeline — could be today, could be six months from now)

What comes later

The first weeks are mostly about surviving — eating, sleeping, getting through. There will come a time when you want to do something with the grief rather than just endure it. When that time comes, the Grief Recovery Method is here. The Free Online Course is a good first step.

But not yet. Right now, just today.