What’s the first thing you want to do when you get good news? Do you want to tell other people? Nearly everyone does!
Whether you realize it or not, your natural impulse upon receiving sad or bad news is the same! But after a lifetime of being told “Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone” you begin to lose the normal impulse to talk about sad or painful things.
On the contrary, have you ever wondered what to say to someone who has a broken heart?
Don’t worry if you don’t. I didn’t have a clue how to be there for my friends when they were sad until I learned more about the Grief Recovery Method. And it’s no wonder. Talking about painful feelings isn’t a topic that we are taught in school. All we know is what has been passed along to us by example, TV and movies.
Some of the most popular things you might hear when your heart is broken might also be the most harmful. Let’s all work together to remove these phrases from the lexicon and replace them with helpful statements.
Have you heard any of these phrases?
- Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone.
- Big girls don’t cry.
- Time heals all wounds.
- Don’t look back, you're not looking that way.
- Grief just takes time.
- If you’re going to cry, go to your room.
- You must move through the stages of grief
- Don’t feel bad.
- Keep busy.
- At least he is in a better place.
- Be strong for the kids.
- Be grateful for the time you had together.
- She wouldn’t want you to be sad.
- There are other fish in the sea.
- It was just a dog. You can always get a new one.
We are almost certain that these phrases are well-intentioned and don’t mean to cause harm, but they do. Why?
They perpetuate the 6 most common myths about grief:
- Don't Feel Bad
- Replace the Loss
- Grieve Alone
- Grief Just Takes Time
- Be Strong - Be Strong For Others
- Keep Busy
These 6 myths are responsible for lifetimes of pain.
Download our free ebook The 6 Major Myths About Grief to learn more. Together we can make a difference, one conversation at a time.