Do you remember the first time you heard about the death of a celebrity you loved like President John F. Kennedy, Whitney Houston, Michael Landon, or Kobe Bryant?
Did you feel crushed?
Celebrity deaths can be heartbreaking. It’s normal to grieve the death of people who were important to you, even if you didn’t know them in person.
When you first hear someone died, your brain almost automatically finds things you wish would have ended different, better, or more. It’s the same when someone famous dies.
“I wish I had the chance to tell her that her music helped me get through my divorce.”
“We never met, but I wish we could have.”
“She reminds me of the times I spent with my dad before he died.”
Have you seen the social media posts about the death of Queen Elizabeth II? People are sharing about what she means to them, their memories of her, and their heartache. We commend it because most often people think they need to hide their feelings of grief by keeping it to themselves or acting strong.
Here is what our friend and UK Certification Trainer, Catherine Best, has to say,
“My heart is breaking, for our Queen and all those who loved her. She has been there for the whole of my life. My Dad served in the Royal Navy for 23 years and so the phrase ‘for Queen and Country’ was something I was very familiar with.
I remember the Queen’s Jubilee street parties that were held in June 1977. I was 8 years old and I remember my sister and I dressed head to toe in red, white and blue. The whole street was closed and we danced and shared food and friendship, it was so much fun. We did this again only this year in June 2022 when she gave us a 4 day weekend to celebrate her outstanding reign of 70 years for her Platinum Jubilee. These events brought us together as a Nation, a Realm, a Commonwealth, but also as a community, talking to neighbours, sharing memories of the Queen and her reign.
Over the next days and weeks we will come together to remember her and support her family as we prepare, as a country, for her funeral. She was steadfast and led the country through some extremely difficult and turbulent times, always with dignity, honour and compassion. She was most definitely the people’s Queen.
If you are sad tonight then let yourself cry. This is the most normal and natural reaction to any loss. If you need support, please ask for it. I for one will be taking time to grieve. I had never met her but she was very much part of my life, and today I am heartbroken and overwhelmed with sadness.
Thank you for your service Ma’am, you will be sadly missed. I love you. We love you. God save the King.”
If you’re grieving too, that’s normal!
During this sad time, we’d love to give you a free copy of our bestselling book, The Grief Recovery Handbook, for free. Simply click below and cover shipping.
My loving thoughts are with you in hearing of the loss of your Queen...
The world's Queen! What an amazing life and legacy.
Thanks so much for sharing your memories with us of the celebration of the
Queen's long life and reign.
Yes, I sooo remember exACTly where I stood in high school with the announcement of JJK's death. Again, with Princess Diana.
Thanks for your good work with the AMA. I listen as I can and when I hear you speak,
I want to smile and say...Catherine, just say a n y t h i n g with that beautiful accent!
With love and light,
I am hurting in my emotional honesty. The Queen and her family have mattered in my life. A deeper emotional connection than I realized. I had a pacemaker surgery Monday and was resting, watching the news of the Queen. I feel for the UK. I also had to put my dog to sleep Wednesday which was my folks anniversary who I lost last year. Grieving is real and important to be emotionally honest with yourself and the feelings of the heart ❤️! I care for your heart as my heart aches so does yours. Thank you, Deb
Thank you Catherine this was very moving. Have you seen this article by Kathryn Mannix?
I found this article written by Dr Kathryn Mannix a palliative Dr in UK who wrote “With the End in Mind” wrote on her twitter recently.
What can we learn from the death of the #Queen? The world has watched her live through the process of #OrdinaryDying, and yet dying went unspoken, un-named. Let's notice what nobody mentioned: we all saw the Queen going through the stages of ordinary dying.
As her body wearied, she needed to ration her energy, reduce her public engagements, delegate some tasks. Energy runs out faster as the process progresses. But her mind remained crystal-clear, her famous sense of humour was undimmed.
The changes began slowly. Initially, we realised that she was less energetic year by year. This is the stage of dying when life expectancy is usually still measured in years.
After Prince Philip died she was noticeably more tired, her public appearances less frequent, her energy less reliable. Losing weight, walking with a stick: changing month by month, a stage that usually indicates life expectancy measured in months.
She began to make clear her wishes. Charles' wife to be Queen Consort. The 2nd in line, William, to move to Windsor. Her dresser & special friend joined the Royal household as her daily companion. I wonder what medical wishes she also sorted out. #AdvanceCarePlanning
Strength fading, she had tasks to complete. She was able to join in some, but not all, of the long-awaited Jubilee celebrations. The country waited for a new Prime Minister to be appointed by her, with weeks to wait for that election. She hung on.
Many people do this, living longer than expected in order to see somebody special, celebrate a last important occasion, hear longed-for news. Something held her, something important to her own heart, waiting.
Once at her beloved Balmoral, the break with tradition in asking the outgoing and new Prime Ministers to attend her there was a sign that she was now too tired to travel. All of us in palliative care recognised what was unfolding. Yet dying remained un-named.
Missions all accomplished, arrangements within the family in place, Constitutional duties complete, her energy was spent. Even as the family was gathering, it was clear that she was in the last stage of dying.
She has demonstrated the phases of ordinary dying to us all. How dying is mainly living, after all. And how, in the end, we can all plan ahead, address the unfinished business in our lives, and die with symptoms well-managed, even in our own bed if circumstances permit.
Dying in plain sight, camouflaged by briefings about 'mobility issues' and medical advice to 'rest.' Because like anyone else, the Queen was entitled to some privacy about her health, and to die away from the public gaze. But we all saw the process. Rest in peace, Ma'am. What can we learn? That dying is inevitable, recognisable, describable, and that we can prepare for it. The Queen had clearly planned ahead. That at the edge of life, we can still enjoy love, and peace, and companions. That we need to get familiar with dying.
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