You lived through something that changed nearly everything: The COVID-19 pandemic. It affected every aspect of life: how people worked, connected, and how safe they felt. It divided families, friendships, and even communities that once felt close. For some, it brought fear and loss. For others, anger and disbelief. And for many, it left behind a profound grief that still lingers.

You may recall moments that still weigh heavily. Maybe you lost someone you loved and couldn't be by their side. Perhaps you spent months feeling afraid of getting sick. Or maybe you were the one being yelled at in a grocery store for not wearing a mask, or made to feel like a villain for asking questions or making a different choice. On the other hand, maybe you were scared of those who refused precautions. However it looked for you, it was painful.

Everyone was grieving something: health, safety, freedom, trust, or simply the world as it once was.

Grief Doesn't Only Follow Death

Grief appears when any situation changes or comes to an end. Some losses were obvious, like death, cancelled weddings, or being unable to see a dying loved one. Others were subtle, such as the loss of connection, everyday routines, or being able to walk into a store and see a stranger's smile.

Some lost faith in the government or the medical system. Others lost faith in the people around them. Neighbors stopped talking. Friendships ended. Families avoided one another. What began as health measures or political debates quickly became personal, leaving many people isolated and hurt.

When Being Right Becomes a Shield

When life feels uncertain, trying to be right can feel like a sense of safety. During the pandemic, beliefs often became like armor. Some felt their choices protected others, while others believed their choices protected freedom. It was easy to see that anyone who disagreed was the source of the problem.

Russell Friedman once wrote, "You can be right or you can be happy, but you cannot be both." 

Holding tightly to being right can keep you from healing. Many people weren't just defending their opinions; they were defending their pain. When you don’t talk about emotional pain, it can turn into anger, judgment, or even pride. Most of the arguments that filled our homes, newsfeeds, and communities were never just about rules or science. They were about loss, fear, and the human need to feel in control when everything felt broken.

Fear Beneath the Conflict

Underneath the division was fear: fear of illness, fear of death, fear of being misled, fear of losing freedom, and fear of being rejected. That fear looked different depending on where you stood. For some, it meant isolating and sanitizing every surface. For others, it meant refusing to comply and standing firm against what felt like manipulation. Each side believed it was protecting something of great importance. Each side carried grief.

You might still feel something rise when you hear words like "mandate," "vaccine," or "mask." These emotions remind us that the wounds of that time are still open. Beneath the shade of every argument and every painful memory is the same longing: to feel safe, connected, and understood.

Choosing Healing Over Division

You cannot change what happened, but you can decide how you want to carry it now. Healing begins when you name what you lost and allow yourself to feel it. Perhaps you have lost faith in others. Maybe you lost your patience. Maybe you lost a sense of belonging. Or possibly you are still angry that people you love cannot see things the way you do. All of that is grief.

Listening without trying to convince is one of the most healing things you can do. When someone talks about what that time was like for them, try to hear the pain beneath their words. You don't have to agree. You only have to listen. When we choose compassion over correction, we make space for connection to grow again.

If conversations about the pandemic still stir tension, remember that grief often hides behind strong opinions. Most people, on both sides, want to feel heard and safe again.

Moving Forward Together

Healing doesn't mean pretending nothing happened. It means letting go of the pain that keeps you stuck in the past. It means acknowledging the pain you are feeling.

You can't rewrite the last few years, but you can face your grief. Then you might not see people with other beliefs only as enemies, but as people who also struggled to find their way through something impossible. You may discover that peace doesn't come from being right. It comes from being real.

You don’t have to have all the answers or agree with everyone to begin healing. Start by being honest about what you lost and what still hurts. Honesty can open the door to peace and connection once again.

The pandemic took much from all of us, but it also revealed what we value most: family, friendships, health and community. When you stop focusing on who was right and start acknowledging what was lost, healing begins. From that space, hope has room to grow again.

If you recognize parts of your own story here, know that it’s not too late to heal. The Grief Recovery Method can help you take real, practical steps toward peace. Learn more about how to begin here.