A Grief Support Blog

This blog will allow you the opportunity to acquire both support and guidance after experiencing a significant loss.

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Crying is not losing composure

There are hordes of expressions that swirl around the twin topics of grief and recovery. Unfortunately, many of them are not helpful when we find ourselves stuck in the middle of grieving situations. We have been socialized to believe that sadness, which is the normal response to sad news or sad memories, is somehow a reduction rather than an appropriate response.

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  • Mar 03, 2004
  • Russell Friedman
  • 2 comments

On Crying and Grief - Part 1

Almost everyone has some questions and confusion about crying and grief. How much crying is enough? If I start crying, will I be able to stop? Do I have to cry at all? I've cried and cried but I still don't feel better, is there something wrong with me? Are men and women different when it comes to crying? We will address these and other questions in this two part series on crying. We had intended this to be a single article, but as it unfolded we realized that it needed more than a little space to do it justice. Do not be alarmed if you recognize yourself in some of the scenarios highlighted here.

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  • Mar 03, 2004
  • Russell Friedman
  • 1 comments

Saying goodbye to a long-term relationship

A couple drives home after a party talking about the people and events they encountered during the evening. It’s one of the unique joys of couple hood, to make some observations and even to gossip [but only a little] about others. Almost all couples do it, even the couples who have problems with each other. Day-to-day, in long-term relationships, we rely on our partners to listen to us and respond with appropriate oohs and ahhs when we have excelled. We often make our daily reports with the anticipatory excitement of a young child, hopping from foot to foot, hoping for a pat on the head, or even greater rewards.

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  • Feb 18, 2004
  • Russell Friedman
  • 1 comments

Valentine's Day Sadness

Before we get to our Valentine's day sadness. Let's go back to a time when you were so giddy with love that even you realized that your thoughts and actions were silly? If not yourself, you may remember observing friends or family members so smitten that you thought they were a bit daft.

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  • Jan 21, 2004
  • Russell Friedman
  • 0 comments

Don't say these things to someone suffering after a loss

The first time an idea or feeling occurs to me, I give it a glance. If it doesn't rivet my attention, I let it pass through and go on its merry way. If the same thought or emotion repeats itself a short time later, I give it a second look and usually release it back into the universe also. Every once in a while, though, if one more impulse grabs my attention, I've learned to apply the law of threes and stop and give it a more in-depth examination.

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  • Jan 12, 2004
  • Russell Friedman
  • 0 comments

Better tools for dealing with loss: Hammer, Saw, and Tissues?

Most trades people have tool kits to accomplish their tasks. 

Hammers, saws, screwdrivers, and the like for construction; wrenches, pliers, and vise grips for plumbing; duct tape for everything else. Not wanting to be different, we in Grief Recovery also have a tool kit for our trade; tools for dealing with loss and grief. We usually carry them wherever we go. We are also fortunate that most homes and businesses usually have one element of our tool kits on their premises, just in case we forget ours or run out.

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  • Jan 07, 2004
  • Russell Friedman
  • 1 comments

Make Sure You're Not Minimizing People's Grief

One of the most common and separating elements of grief is the fact that the people around a grieving person tend to make comparisons in an attempt to help the griever feel better. The classic is, "Don't feel bad, she's in a better place." That may very well be true for the person who died, but is rarely the whole truth for the person who is still living - and grieving.

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  • Jan 05, 2004
  • Russell Friedman
  • 0 comments

Saying goodbye to a relationship: Stop saying there are plenty of fish in the sea!

Do you recall a time in the bloom of your first love when your feet barely scraped the ground and everything felt right in your world? If you remember those feelings, but the relationship that inspired them didn't make it all the way to the imagined sunset, then you've also felt the painful sting that accompanies romantic endings.

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  • Dec 17, 2003
  • Russell Friedman
  • 0 comments

Kids and Loss: make sure you're giving them the right information about loss

A sponge cannot differentiate between deadly poison and sweet nectar. It sops up whatever liquid it contacts. Children are like sponges. They cannot distinguish the value of the information they are immersed in, especially when they are very young.

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  • Dec 10, 2003
  • Russell Friedman
  • 0 comments

Uh-oh, it's that time again. Grief and the Holidays

The holidays are approaching. A joyous time. A festive time. A time when families and friends celebrate the passage of another year and the coming of a new year. But not everyone will feel like celebrating. If this is the first year since the death of a loved one or a divorce, the grief and the holidays may be difficult. Since time does not heal emotional wounds, subsequent holiday times may be painful and awkward. Even surrounded by family and friends, grievers may feel isolated, alone, and as if no one understands.

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  • Nov 14, 2003
  • Russell Friedman
  • 6 comments

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