A Grief Support Blog

This blog will allow you the opportunity to acquire both support and guidance after experiencing a significant loss.

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"Just the feelings, ma'am"

Feelings and Emotional Responses to Loss

No, the title is not a misprint; it’s just the Grief Recovery variation on that famous Jack Webb line from Dragnet.

We’ve spent the better part of the last 25 years helping people move about 14 inches from their heads to their hearts. We have written of the six major myths that we believe limit people in making that shift. We have lectured, we have pontificated, we have preached. We have even resorted to begging and pleading in an attempt to get folks to see the error of their ways, at least as it relates to using their heads rather than their hearts to deal with their emotional responses to loss.

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  • Apr 15, 2004
  • Russell Friedman
  • 0 comments

Never apologize for your feelings

Published 2003 On Sunday, April 13, 2003, as the late-day Georgia sun slipped down in the sky, a young man of incredible virtue rose high to teach us all a lesson. The man's name is Len Mattiace.

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  • Apr 14, 2004
  • Russell Friedman
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Dealing with tragic events that you observe across the globe

Sorry to get melodramatic here, but recent events in the world have assumed proportions that are best described by Shakespeare. Fallouja is a new word for most of us, but it now contains ideas and images that may tamper with us for a long time. We already know the word Madrid and we all know what trains are, but now those two words have taken on implications that may linger in our hearts and souls. Even the benign word backpack has morphed as the result of being a container to house lethal explosives in Madrid.

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  • Apr 06, 2004
  • Russell Friedman
  • 0 comments

Crying is not losing composure

There are hordes of expressions that swirl around the twin topics of grief and recovery. Unfortunately, many of them are not helpful when we find ourselves stuck in the middle of grieving situations. We have been socialized to believe that sadness, which is the normal response to sad news or sad memories, is somehow a reduction rather than an appropriate response.

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  • Mar 03, 2004
  • Russell Friedman
  • 2 comments

On Crying and Grief - Part 1

Almost everyone has some questions and confusion about crying and grief. How much crying is enough? If I start crying, will I be able to stop? Do I have to cry at all? I've cried and cried but I still don't feel better, is there something wrong with me? Are men and women different when it comes to crying? We will address these and other questions in this two part series on crying. We had intended this to be a single article, but as it unfolded we realized that it needed more than a little space to do it justice. Do not be alarmed if you recognize yourself in some of the scenarios highlighted here.

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  • Mar 03, 2004
  • Russell Friedman
  • 1 comments

Saying goodbye to a long-term relationship

A couple drives home after a party talking about the people and events they encountered during the evening. It’s one of the unique joys of couple hood, to make some observations and even to gossip [but only a little] about others. Almost all couples do it, even the couples who have problems with each other. Day-to-day, in long-term relationships, we rely on our partners to listen to us and respond with appropriate oohs and ahhs when we have excelled. We often make our daily reports with the anticipatory excitement of a young child, hopping from foot to foot, hoping for a pat on the head, or even greater rewards.

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  • Feb 18, 2004
  • Russell Friedman
  • 1 comments

Valentine's Day Sadness

Before we get to our Valentine's day sadness. Let's go back to a time when you were so giddy with love that even you realized that your thoughts and actions were silly? If not yourself, you may remember observing friends or family members so smitten that you thought they were a bit daft.

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  • Jan 21, 2004
  • Russell Friedman
  • 0 comments

Don't say these things to someone suffering after a loss

The first time an idea or feeling occurs to me, I give it a glance. If it doesn't rivet my attention, I let it pass through and go on its merry way. If the same thought or emotion repeats itself a short time later, I give it a second look and usually release it back into the universe also. Every once in a while, though, if one more impulse grabs my attention, I've learned to apply the law of threes and stop and give it a more in-depth examination.

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  • Jan 12, 2004
  • Russell Friedman
  • 0 comments

Better tools for dealing with loss: Hammer, Saw, and Tissues?

Most trades people have tool kits to accomplish their tasks. 

Hammers, saws, screwdrivers, and the like for construction; wrenches, pliers, and vise grips for plumbing; duct tape for everything else. Not wanting to be different, we in Grief Recovery also have a tool kit for our trade; tools for dealing with loss and grief. We usually carry them wherever we go. We are also fortunate that most homes and businesses usually have one element of our tool kits on their premises, just in case we forget ours or run out.

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  • Jan 07, 2004
  • Russell Friedman
  • 1 comments

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