Testimonials For Support Groups
First, I believe it's inappropriate to offer "recovery" to grievers. Death is the profound mystery of the human experience. Loss of a spouse in particular is life altering. The kind of pain and sadness that comes with it is not all tied to "incomplete" communication with the loved one. I agree that there can be regrets, and we can become fixated on those, adding to the pain of loss. But recovery is something you do after surgery or when the antibiotic completes it's work on an infection. We all continue our day to day lives, but it's not, and can't be, the same after a loss. That sadness at the loved one's absence in this life may fade over time, but it's never going to leave, nor should it. Only in the last few pages of the main chapters do the authors say that you will still feel sad, that your life will not be the same, even after the class work is finished. I think it's self-serving to hold out the hope of recovery by using that word as the lure; who wouldn't want the pain to go away. The cathartic experience of writing and reading that goodby letter is a lesson not in recovery, but in what you can expect for the rest of your life in terms of breaking down over the loss. So I hope that people who who innocently see the phrase "Grief Recovery Method" and decide to participate believing that they can "get over" the sadness they feel aren't terribly hurt later when they out of the blue find themselves crying while preparing breakfast. If you lose your beloved well worn leather wallet, you can't have that beloved well worn wallet ever again. You can buy a new wallet and come to love it as much as the lost wallet, but you can't replace the lost beloved well worn wallet. You can't recover from the absence of that wallet in your pocket. A second concern I have over the book is the pedantic approach. Lot's of "always" and "never" in what you should or shouldn't do. All it takes to be an expert on loss is to experience it. And everyone will. The book operates on the premise that the authors somehow have the answer to loss just because they've experienced it. The authors state early on that humans are used to dealing with situations in life with reason and logic, but grief is an emotional response which requires something else. Yet the entirety of the book depends on reasoning and "logic-ing you out of what is not logical. In spite of all of these concerns that chafed at me as a participant, the value of the exercise to me didn't require the book. It consisted of having a safe place to share the most profound of human pains, with others who shared in return. And a good facilitator like the one we had can create that safe place in a support group without the "method". Some catharsis was experienced by each of us, and a deep human respect for each other developed among us. I'm not sure that the "method" was much more than a way to open the door to that kind of experience for each of us. After all, no matter what loss brought you, the one thing going in that you have in common is the pain of loss, and the hope that you're not alone. Just as the authors found ways to cope with the unfathomable, so do each of us. But while the loss does not go away, the knowledge that you are not alone, and the opportunity to express the pain to others who you know understand how that feels, is a great comfort. Finally, my spiritual beliefs, non-denominational, provide the context for my sadness at losing my wife. A couple tenets of those beliefs include accepting that we cannot understand or know everything in this life in space and time. Some things must remain mysteries while we're here. Secondly though, I believe that all will be known to us naturally once we leave this form of existence through death. Further, we knew all before we were confined within the limits of human mind and body at birth. We spend a lifetime trying like crazy to regain the soul-peace of that total connection to all that is, that we had and will have forever. In that spiritual context, I can accept that I'll be sad that someone with whom I shared the travails of this life intimately is now in a state of being in which there are no mysteries to make peace with. Her absence for the remainder of my sojourn here makes me sad while I'm still here. And that's the way it is.
Support Groups11/21/2019Participant in Haslett,, MI
Support Groups11/21/2019Participant in Haslett, MI
The grief recovery program is very beneficial for each and every one who has experienced loss of any sort in their life. The program has helped me to see that you can better relationships with people that are still living around you. The grief recovery program has enlighten me on the behaviors of grief. Matters of the heart are not always easy to deal with or handle. But with the proper tools you're better equipped to start the process of healing. To become whole in your emotions of death let's you know you are human and dying is a part of life. The Grief Recovery specialist is the door to you opening up. One who is sensitive to all loss/grief.
Support Groups11/21/2019Participant in University Park , IL
Support Groups11/21/2019Participant in Simi, Ca
I feel like I have the tools to identify certain triggers based on previous experiences and know where to go when another loss comes up. I fee At peace in many ways.
Support Groups11/21/2019Participant in Sandwich , MA
I really enjoyed my time in this group for it got me thinking. The life history graph was the best. It was fun and knocked me out. At first I did not feel I had any grief, but I was depressed, little things bothered me but death or a divorce did not. The book and the group helped me open my eyes and acknowledge that I do have some grief but it was not what I had expected. Thank you
Support Groups11/21/2019Participant in Rapid City, South Dakota
This program and the facilitator's compassionate style greatly helped relieve long-standing grief and improved my perspective on life.
Support Groups11/21/2019Participant in HASLETT, Michigan
Open me up to release the my anger
Support Groups11/21/2019Participant in University Park, Il
This program has changed my life. After my loss I was lost. I did not know how I would make it from moment to moment. I was sad, angry, and suicidal. This program answered a lot of the questions about grief/loss that were unanswered for me. Although I still have moments of sadness and anger, with this program I am equipped to manage my actions and thoughts in a healthy way.
Support Groups11/21/2019Participant in University Park, Illinois
Hearing other people pain. And learning that if you hear people pain it also can help heal you if you humble yourself and not think about self. And try to put yourself in those people pain it teach you that people is out here suffering like me.
Support Groups11/21/2019Participant in University park , Illinois
Support Groups11/20/2019Participant in St Albert, AB
Support Groups11/20/2019Participant in Rapid City, South Dakota
How to properly think about loss
Support Groups11/20/2019Participant in West Hills, California
The program is an amazing tool that was very beneficial for me. I feel anyone dealing with loss should go thru this program. The program did help me and I feel I will keep working on other losses .
Support Groups11/20/2019Participant in St Albert, Alberta
The Grief and Recovery Support Group was a safe place for me. I felt accepted for who I am. All members listened to each other without judgement. I felt understood.
Support Groups11/20/2019Participant in Jacksonville , FL
I didn't know if this program was the right place for me when I first heard about it. I was joining to help grieve the slipping away of my ill parent. This program was absolutely the perfect place for me and provided the right support and tools for me to not only work through the above mentioned scenario in my life but many other losses that were uncovered during the 8 week program. It is hard to explain the value of this program to someone, I believe anyone could benefit greatly.
Support Groups11/20/2019Participant in St. Albert, Alberta
It has given me such a different and better way to look and deal with grief. It also helps give a better understanding of how to deal with family and others during times of grief and loss.
Support Groups11/20/2019Participant in St. Albert, Alberta
I personally had been through counseling and another church based grief group before. So I took this course to help me in meeting with my Stephen Ministry people. It helped me have a few tools to help me listen better and show compassion for those dealing with grief.
Support Groups11/19/2019Participant in Urbandale, Iowa
Support Groups11/19/2019Participant in Des Moines, IA
It brought up some deep-seated hurts that I had buried. Also it was eye-opening what Sterbs I was using. Hopefully I will use the choices and information to help me work through my most recent pain of the loss of my little grandson. I was expecting to deal with that, so was disappointed that I was instructed to deal with a parent relationship first.
Support Groups11/19/2019Participant in Des Moines, Iowa
I am grateful for the Grief Recovery Method. The 8 weeks of classes have equipped me with a tool to help heal some of the grief and hurt in my life. The classes gave me not only the tools to complete some grief but also friends who are willing to listen as I release and share by joys and sorrows. This has been a blessing to me! Marilyn Shults
Support Groups11/19/2019Participant in Des Moines, IA
I had no idea what the program was about and was skeptical. The exercises was so different than what I was used to and given a chance, I was surprised of the results.
Support Groups11/19/2019Participant in Rancho Cucamonga, CA
Support Groups11/19/2019Participant in Regina, Sask
After completing the class I feel like a weight has been lifted. Not being able to tell my dad I’m sorry had weighed me down. The letter writing at the end was so helpful.
Support Groups11/19/2019Participant in Des Moines, IA