Don't wait to collapse at 42 as I did. I did not know my own grief, nor able to communicate my feelings. I self-described it as"male challenged" believingI had to be strong for everything and do it all alone. 

Have survived array of LOSSES and CHANGES: my role, mom, a best friend, soulfriend / wife Joan simultaneous to dad'. They are all gone, as seemed my LIFE. Sold home. Navigated losses of  energy, loss of confidence in various institutions, and doubted my self. The Jeff-Alone journey began. Grieved and Grew.  Already a professional grief guide, became more personally seasoned, and added Grief Recovery's clear methodical healing programme for myself, then, others as I formed grief support teams. In2024-25 added losses of car to a deer; apartment to renoviction; my job due to re-structuring. 

I articulated some GRIEF LEARNING SUMMARIES that grew in me, and now say things like:

"I am OK. Except when I am not";

"I do not know if I am coming or going, so just do both"

"I am strong enough to be weak"

"We were then living to die.  After she died,  I became dying to live" 

Remarkably: I feel alive despite and through it all, and continue grief care around Near North Ontario.

During Pandemic resumed hospital chaplaincy at regional psychiatric & general hospital, with prior care in correctional settings, churches, and the community.  My primary passion for grief care in all of its forms  are used in insitutional and community settings: grief is often not named, resources are scarce, and wait times long when available. Who in their right mind RUSHES toward grief?  Grief Recovery does: like First Responders.

I find this only evidence-based Grief Recovery Method TOOL  with clear language, structured process,  readily useable to kickstart direct aid to navigate the waves of mind-bending, soul wrenching, spirit-crushing, life-changing losses and events.  

Looking back Kindergarten taught me to share; Sociology, about people; Master of Divinity, about Higher Power talk; Institute for Black Catholic Studies, about Soulful Spirituality; Clinical Psychotherapeutic Education: professional spiritual care and self-discovery; and my wife about noticing, intelligent care, and bravery in life and dying.noticing. Guess she knew I would be okay now. And I am Okay (except when I am not). And my circles of co-grievers endlessly teach me things, and they say, I them.

After Kindergarten & School of Life learnings, Grief Recovery Method deepened my ability to BE OPEN and SHARE-TALK with others. I  already accompanied people to the DEPTHS of their pain in the midst of their acute and sheer survival mode, across the darkness toward the light of an ability to feel alive again. PAIN-TEARS and JOY-LAUGHTER are signs we are alive. So, don't do it all alone.  Give GR a try. Find someone to guide you. Grief needs action, not just time, to heal.. 

Serving Near North Ontario from North Bay & West Nipissing at diversity of venues since 2018: One to one; Groups; Educational sessions; Helping Children With Loss; and more.