Hello, I'm Jess. I’m a licensed and qualified Grief Recovery Specialist and a volunteer bereavement counsellor for a leading UK charity. I also have Postgrad (Cert) in Psychodynamic Studies from the University of Oxford, where I focused on attachment theory and unconscious processes such as grief, loss, depression and anxiety.

Grief is the normal response to any type of loss or significant change, and it can feel incredibly lonely.

You’re not alone.

Grief can leave us feeling conflicting emotions. And anything from the darkest despair to depressed or mildly stuck, trying to make sense of what’s happened.

It can be immensely painful.

Unresolved grief can leave us feeling as if we’re ‘going through the motions’ of life without fully living it. As if we’re surviving on auto-pilot.

I know because I’ve been there personally and professionally (I’ll share more later).

I help people recover from the pain and isolation of grief, so that they can participate in life in a new way.

I don’t only work with people who have experienced the death of a loved one. There are 40 other life events that can evoke a sense of grief, including divorce, heartbreak, pet loss, redundancy, loss of health and infertility.

I want you to have better days, and in time, even more better days. Loss isn’t something you simply ‘get over’. But I help you learn to live meaningfully with grief and regain a sense of joy and purpose again.

Grief is also a doorway to somewhere totally new, and you don’t have to walk through it on your own.

HOW CAN I HELP YOU?

It isn’t time that heals grief or a broken heart as much as the actions you take in the time you have. I carefully guide people through an 8 week recovery process:

- I offer a structured, well established and evidence-based online programme that helps you recover from the pain and isolation of grief. It’s called the Grief Recovery Method and has been developed and used successfully for over 40 years.

- It’s practical, not overly complicated, and deeply compassionate.

- I create a safe and confidential space where you will feel seen, heard and understood.

- I'm based in West Oxfordshire in the UK, but I work almost entirely online, both one to one and in small groups.

- By the end of our time together, you will feel that you can handle the losses of life with resilience with the tools we have learned and practised together. Most people who complete their work with me report feeling much lighter and ready to engage with life in a new way.

HOW IS THIS DIFFERENT TO THERAPY OR COUNSELLING?

I’m a huge advocate for psychotherapy and counselling - I’m a volunteer bereavement counsellor myself. Many clients come to me feeling that only talking about their loss isn’t getting them to a new place with their grief. I have a map. Our work together has a clear end point and requires a serious commitment to 8 sessions. After that, you can choose to continue to see me for follow up sessions for as much or as little as you need. While this isn’t therapy, it is highly therapeutic, with all the benefits of the type of healing relationship counselling can offer.

WHAT IS SOME OF MY OWN STORY THAT BROUGHT ME TO THIS WORK?

I have experienced multiple bereavements, but it wasn’t until my counselling training that I realised the impact other losses have had on my life. I grew up in the Ethiopian famine of the mid 1980s. I saw things a child should never see, and was sometimes surrounded by loss and suffering.

I lost much of my functioning in 2016. When I was eventually given a diagnosis, I was told there were no medical answers for my condition. I was often bed bound and in and out of wheelchairs.

I lost so many of the simple, everyday things I had taken for granted: running, swimming, dancing, moving around my flat and choosing when to brush my teeth and hair. Most of all, I lost the ability to sing for many years - as a professional musician, the thing I most lived for.

It has taken time and a lot of work, the support of my family and community, and I’ve developed the tools and resilience to build a beautiful, flourishing life around these losses. Even better, I have regained so much of my health and independence too. The Grief Recovery Method has become a vital part of that process for me - I will keep living my own work.

WHAT TO DO NEXT?

If you are curious to find out more, please phone or email - or book an informal 15 minute call with me here:

https://calendly.com/jessgoyder

I don’t work with everybody, but either way I may be able to point you in the right direction. Let’s explore if you are a good fit to be carefully guided through the Grief Recovery Method with my support.

Jess