“Nearly everyone knows that the first marriage divorce rate hovers somewhere around 50%. The vast majority of those marriages are to someone other than our first love, which means that we may have dragged some of the unfinished emotional baggage from that relationship into our eventual marriage.
You must grieve and complete your relationships to the person who died, or to the marriage or romance that ended. Until and unless you do that, you’re doomed to drag the past into your present and thereby sabotage your future.”
~Myths of Grief by the Grief Recovery Institute
I lost my first love when my parents didn’t approve. I married soon after and moved to another country to leave the house. I endured a few years of domestic and gun violence, thinking if I can just make it to graduating with a degree, then I can make a good life for myself. I was lucky that dream came true.
For years I was none the wiser about grief and loss. I hadn’t grieved my first love. I hadn’t grieved the continuous loss of safety and security that living in violence leaked into my day to day. I ignored the ever-present loss of trust in myself, in others, and in life in general, and that was not helping me to move on, in fact, it was sabotaging my attempts to move on.
I did a lot of searching… and submerging. I soothed my suffering with things (substances, food, sleep, books, movies, and courses and and and …) to feel better. They made me feel different, but never better. I replaced partners with new ones and replaced home addresses and jobs with new ones. I busied myself with the constant chase of shiny new objects.
My Mom's death was a huge blow, and I started a whole new search to find real help. I finally came across the Grief Recovery Method, which is simple (not easy) and practical and effective. I realized my strength did not come from 'keeping calm and carrying on,' as if it's all in the past and can't bother me now. My strength and resilience and quality of life comes from my ability to look within, see my pains of loss, complete them and let them go. My life changed for the way better, so I became certified to share this work with you and yours!
I teach the Grief Recovery Method online (so you can be based anywhere!) as well as locally in the surrounding region of Nevada County in Northern California.
It allowed me to get in touch with my deep emotions and to move into forgiveness and also apologies for my mother, and have a sense of completion in my relationship with her. I am left with a feeling of peace, and only regret that it could not have happened while she was alive.1-on-1 Online Support07/22/2021
I have been able to make peace with the loss and grief of my parents passing. I became aware of some boulders, and plenty of rocks, that I was carrying in my backpack. I was able to put that weight down after many years. Having grasped the method, I will move on to other relationships and grief and plan to apply the things I have learned.My wonderful facilitator has assured me if future support is needed, she will be there for me.I love that.1-on-1 Online Support06/30/2021