As professionals who deal with those who have experienced a loss, there are certain things that we know are better ways of helping. The comfort from family and friends is sometimes helpful to the bereaved but on a professional level, there are a few specific things to remember when working with a person who is grieving a loss.
"Time heals all wounds." "Keep your chin up." "You're better off without your ex anyway." Are these some of the sentiments you've heard since divorcing your spouse? While your family and friends mean well, the reality is that the grieving process in the aftermath of a divorce cannot be summed up in a neat little cliche. Grief is hard, messy and very personal.
Whether you're grieving the loss of someone who is still alive, yet no longer involved in your life through divorce or by choice, or someone who has passed on, forgiveness during the grieving process is critical. It's not just freeing to you in general. It's also a key part of the grieving and recovery process.
Unresolved grief can be caused by a wide variety of life events. Although most people associate grief with death and are upset at not being able to say a final "I love you" or "good bye", there are over forty life experiences that can cause grief, many of which remain unresolved.
Songwriters from Carole King to Sheena Easton have purported this phrase: "Time heals all wounds." Mourners seek to comfort those grieving with the same words. The sad truth is, that's a lie.
Grief is defined as the conflicting feelings caused by the end of or change in a familiar pattern of behavior.* Death and divorce are the most obvious losses but there are other losses. In fact, there are 43 life events that can produce feelings of grief.
This is the first in a four-part series about programs that offer support for grief. Before we get to those programs, let’s start with a basic definition of grief. Grief is the normal and natural reaction to loss. But even though that’s true, the reality is that most of what we learn about dealing with grief is not normal, not natural, and sadly, not helpful.
We’ve all seen them in our Facebook feeds. A fallen serviceman or police officer is being remembered by his or her family and friends, and those in the community are asked to share the post to honor that person's life.